Love Post #1

We’re at the beach waiting for sunset, my head cradled lovingly in the nook of his shoulder, when he turns to me and says in his endearing European accent, “Baby, I have a gift for you.” He shows me a picture of the sun, a pin prick in the sky, between his thumb and pointer finger (see above). “I got the sun to put in your eye.”

He struggles with English and when the words escape him he says “I don’t know for speak.” And I tell him that I understand him clearly and absolutely so. He says “Only you understand me.” I look at him with utter love and feel that everything is right and perfect in the world.

For BBD

SONNET 43 from Sonnets from the Portuguese
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Thankful

Last Sunday, Mother's Day, my Mama was over in Manila to check on a cousin of mine who's under her ward. The kid is currently preparing for a professional examination and my mother came over from our hometown to bring documents that he needs to take the regulatory test. She went to him and was out of the house the entire day. Before the day ended, she gave me a call asking me what I wanted to have for dinner. For someone who has struggled to have a stable relationship with my mother, I thought that that moment with her was deeply poignant.

I have rarely spoken about my family here because I want to keep that part of me private. I want people to know though that I have always had a good family life. I am very lucky to have been born to kind parents and understanding siblings. Early on of course, as I was struggling with myself, my family struggled along with me. My mother in particular had a difficult time accepting me for who I was.

I do not know what exactly gave her a change of heart but I guess at some point she just gave up on telling me to change and be the son she wanted me to be. When that moment happened, our relationship dramatically changed for the better. Gone were the melodramatic fights. All the painful and hurtful words also went away. Now, we are okay. We're not friends as my mom is not that kind of person but I know that we are okay.

I want to take this moment to thank my mother. She is an indelible part of who I am. This is not a big way of honoring her but I know it is enough for now. I would like to thank her for her love and acceptance. Most of all, I want to thank her for devoting her life to her family. She has truly made great sacrifices for the good of my father, me and my siblings. Without her constant guidance and care, my siblings and I will not be where we are right now. My two older siblings are both working abroad and they too have a great relationship with my mother. Every time they come home, they always have a special gift for her. I hope I can repay her for all the kindness she has done to me as well in the future.

I love you Mama. I am so proud that I am able to say that to you now. Truly, a mother's love is the greatest gift of all.